Taxi Driver (Not the Movie Version)

We're walking Jalan Burma in wilting mid-morning heat in search of a street said to be home to Penang's best assam laksa. We walk and sweat, and sweat some more, all in vain, because we are heading in the wrong direction. (Traveler's tip: don't ever ask a Malaysian how to get somewhere. Malaysians are wonderful people but when it comes to directions they don't know north from south, east from west, left from right, over here from over there. That's OK. The food more than compensates.)

We give up, hail a taxi, and show our driver the address. Five minutes later we're sitting in front of a chicken rice shop; the place was recently sold and assam laksa is no more.

'You want assam laksa?' the driver queries. 'I'll take you to Restoran XXX. Every tourist loves the laksa there.'

DING DING DING DING DING!!!!

Alarm bells go off in our heads. We've heard that phrase ('Every tourist loves the A,B, or C there.') before and it is never, ever a promise of good things to come.

'We don't want to eat tourist food. We want to go where Penang people like to eat,' I retort.

At this point it can go either way. One: taxi driver grunts, says something under his breath followed by a cheery 'OK', and drives to Restoran XXX. Two: taxi driver turns to hungry passengers with fire in his eyes. 'OK!' he cries, rising to the mission. Amazing food, and copious inside information, follow.

In Penang we get lucky. Mr. Goh, not born and bread in Penang but a resident for over thirty years, is a skinny Chinese gentleman whose slightness belies an obsession with food - and a desire to talk about it - worthy of any true Malaysian. In us, he found his ideal fare: two food explorers with really big appetites.

 

I consult my list of must-eats. 'What about Air Hitam assam laksa?'

He wrinkles his nose. 'No good. Now they use powder for the curry, they don't even pound their own paste. All the tourists go there.' This time he enunciates the word with a sneer. 'There is an old aunty. She's not so friendly. But her assam laksa is the best.'

Mr. Goh hits the gas as he shares a bit of history. 'For thirty years, maybe more, she's selling her laksa at Kheng Pin coffee shop. Everyday - three hours, sold out! Then, all of a sudden, she left. Who knows why? Maybe an argument with the owner.'

He parks across from an uncrowded, newish coffeeshop on Jalan Burma. 'There she is!' he points. Sure enough, a sturdy, helmet-coiffed woman in her late sixties or so bends over a couple of pots at a streetside stall. Mouths watering by now, we sprint over to place our order. She doesn't turn around. She doesn't look up. She doesn't acknowledge our existence in any way, shape, or form.

The coffeeshop owner helpfully intercedes, asking if we can place an order. 'It's not ready yet!' Aunty snaps. When will it be? we wonder. Aunty replies to the owner, her back still turned, 'I don't know! Maybe half hour. Maybe more.'

Mr. Goh is right. This is one gnarly Aunty.

We head back to the taxi. By now, our curiosity is piqued and we're simply dying to subject ourselves to this vendor's rudeness in exchange for the privilege of trying her laksa. There's no question but that we'll wait. But what to do in the meantime?

'You must try guay teow th'ng!' Goh enthuses. 'It's close.' We jump back in the cab and head off to Fook Cheow Cafe.

Forty-five minutes and a bowl of soup noodles later, we're back. 'If you ask her for extra soup she won't give it,' Goh warns, as we step out of the car.

The laksa's ready - and most of the coffeeshop's tables are now occupied. But Aunty has disappeared. We wait ten minutes, fifteen. Finally, with the laksa dominatrix nowhere to be found, the shop owner steps in and dishes up for us a bowl each of assam laksa and laksa lemak.

With a conspiratorial smile, she ladels in extra soup.

Is the old battle axe's assam laksa the best in Penang? We've no way to judge, but we do know it's so much better than any version we've eaten in Kuala Lumpur that it's almost pointless to draw a comparison.

Aunty's soup is thin, but far from insipid, boasting shreds of fish and nubs of the ingredients that go into her paste. It's ferociously spicy and wonderfully sour (many assam laksa in Kuala Lumpur err on the sweet side), with a pronounced (and welcome) peppery-bitter torch ginger flower component. Garnishes consist of the standard combination of slivered pineapple, cucumber, copious mint leaves, more ginger flower (fresh and shredded - the pink and white bits in the bowl above) and a spoonful of hae ko, Penang's sweet and sticky black shrimp paste.

The laksa lemak may be even tastier, satisfyingly rich but light on the coconut milk and boasting not mere shreds, but chunks of fish. We'd be hard-pressed to choose between one or the other but we do know we'll forever more cast jaundiced eyes at other versions.

A quick glance around the coffee shop as we drain our bowls confirms Aunty's stature: each seat is taken, and most every patron contentedly slurps laksa. A few customers even stop by our table to introduce themselves and to extol the virtues of Aunty's specialty (no one has a pleasant word to say about the woman herself, though).

'What next?' Goh asks as we slide into the back seat. I once again consult my list, but this time only for names of Penang specialties. Goh has proven himself with kway teow th'ng and laksa, and for the rest of the morning we'll leave the choice of venues up to him.

'Loh bak?' I toss out.

'I know just the place!' he shoots back, with a grin.

Grumpy Aunty laksa, coffeeshop on Burma Road at Lorong Kinta, almost kitty corner to Starview Restaurant. Mornings, starting around 9:30 or 10. RM 4.80 for a bowl each of laksa lemak and assam laksa.

 

Comments

[Annie]

Slobbering! My uncle always took us to this one place in Pulau Tikus (if my memory has not failed me) for assam laksa. Nothing can compare in KL. Thank you for the taste memory that your post and pictures brought back.

[Annie]

Slobbering! My uncle always took us to this one place in Pulau Tikus (if my memory has not failed me) for assam laksa. Nothing can compare in KL. Thank you for the taste memory that your post and pictures brought back.

[Karen]

Sounds just like the assam laksa that my mama makes. I am dying to go home to Malaysia, just to eat this on native land again. It's funny what you said about KL Assam Laksa, I've always thought it was slightly on the sweeter side but native KL people just tell me I don't remember what it really tastes like.

[E]

She's not the only grumpy old lady in penang who cooks kick ass hawker food. been for the CKT in Lorong Selamat (off Jalan Burma/Macallister)? Middle aged lady with red oversized beret and industrial safety goggles. Long queue and hawker with an attitude

[Robyn]

Annie - Pulau Tikus market? We did sample Hokkien mee at the coffee shop there, across from the balai polis.

Karen - if you're mom makes laksa like that you are one lucky girl! Laksa in KL is definately on the sweeter side, IMO.

E - char kuey teow on J Selamat. Check! The same day, about 6pm. I'll be posting it. Yes, she's gnarly, but unlike Aunty she did at least grunt at us. ;-)

[Cupcake]

Funny you should say that KL assam laksa is on the sweet side - one of my pet peeves is that they put sugar into assam laksa gravy!! A most unfortunate thing indeed. The sweetness should come from the onions and the fish.

Cupcake

[wai]

Okay. Its official. I now hate you - and no, hate is not too harsh a word to be using...!!

The last couple of blogs have been brilliant guys. Fantastic story and awesome mouth watering pictures. Keep up the good work!

[Nate 2.0]

Oh, Robyn! You are so *evil*! Tantalizing us with this assam laksa that we cannot hope to grab unless we are there in Penang!

BTW, there is another stall that is my favorite place for assam laksa in Penang, at the Kedai Kopi Genting (sorry, I forget the street name)...is that the one you were originally headed for?

[Steamy Kitchen]

here is my secret....whenever I see that you have new posts, I save it for a moment when the kids are all in bed and I can have a moment of alone, quiet.... I love looking at your very human photostories and reading about your asian adventures.

[Robyn]

Cupcake, we know that in your opinion NO Penang specialty in KL is up to snuff (unless your mom or dad makes it). ;-)

Wai - hurts so good, huh? Thanks, we aim to please.

Nate - must consult my notes (after I polish my devil horns) to see where we were originally headed. But I'll keep your rec in mind for the next trip!

Steamy Kitchen - that's so very nice of you. Thanks. We're glad you like what we do...

[KS]

You guys are amazing! I am a Malaysia currently working in the US. Your words and pictures have captured not only aroma and taste of the food, but also the essence of our food culture, at first I really thought you guys are Malaysians. Keep it up! Makan kuat kuat ya!

[Jennifer Jeffrey]

That's one lucky taxi encounter. Love the "gnarly Aunty" reference. I've never had assam laksa before, but it sounds (and looks) wonderful.

[Rasa Malaysia]

Sorry for the misinformation on my site...sucks that Sar Chiew closed down. Actually my favorite Laksa is not even on my list...it's in an obscure corner of the Bayan Baru suburb.

[Robyn]

KS - no we are not Malaysians but we eat like them! Thank you for the highest compliment we could ever receive from a national!

Jennifer - yes, I really should get off my duff and include some recipes with these posts. You'll have to trust me on this one -if you like hot and sour you would love laksa assam.

Rasa - oh, so you're holding out on your readers, are you? Not sharing info on your very favorite laksa and all... ;-)