Should you find yourself in Kuching, get to know this man. And be nice to him, because he stands between you and what may well be the most sublime bowl of noodles in all of Malaysia.
Arrive at Min Joo, in Kuching's Chinatown, expecting a wait.
This half century-old tiny corner shop, with only two tables outside and three or four within, heaves with customers opening to closing. Would-be diners hover at its edges, jealously eyeing the progress of those already eating while silently laying claim to their chairs. Seating is China-style - no queue, in other words - so when a chair is vacated move it or lose it. A politely uttered 'I think I was here first' may prompt an impatient interloper to hand over the space that should, by all rights, have been yours.
But don't bet on it.
The draw here is mee kolok, a Kuching specialty of flat-and-wide or round-and-thin noodles tossed with soy and lard and topped with pork three ways: charred (char siew), chopped, and stewed-and-sliced. Jin Moo's version features top-notch fresh pasta and is especially fragrant with the fat of the pig.
During peak hours (mid-morning, especially on weekends), as the orders pile up and customers and would-be customers jostle for space with servers, things can get a little crazy. That's where Mr. X comes in. Taking and giving orders with the staccato bark of a drill seargent, all the while maintaining an at-the-ready supply of soy and chile-filled condiment saucers, he keeps chaos at bay.
At Min Joo it's important to observe protocol.
First, don't expect to be seated. Mr. X is likely aware that your presence well preceded that of the barrel-shaped, sharp-elbowed aunty, but he'll not intervene when she pole-vaults across two tables to plant her rear in the chair you've been staking out for half an hour. At Min Joo the rule of the jungle prevails; you gotta fight (in a polite, understated sort of way) for your right to eat.
Second - do not, in your eagerness to place an order, raise a hand - or even an eyebrow - at Mr. X or anyone else. Min Joo is a bit like elementary school: you may speak when called upon.
This is no cause for vexation, for Mr. X's eagle eye has registered the moment at which you sat down and you'll be asked what you'd like to eat in proper order, relative to other diners. Though you may keel over from hunger or torment, or both, as you wait your turn while watching others blissfully shovel in Min Joo's sinfully lard-coated noodles, never fear, for once Mr. X has heard your wishes vittles will arrive shortly.
Pass idle moments by observing the action at the shop's front prep area. Here, a gentleman with permanently hunched shoulders - Mr. X Sr., perhaps - and a woman with an ever serious mien, both seemingly glued to their spots behind the glass, seamlessly and without pause pull together order after order after order.
Into a bowl go a splash of soy, a glug of dark vinegar, and - dished up from a large pot at the center of the work area - an extremely generous amount of lard.
Noodles fresh from the boiler are piled on top and the lot is deftly mixed and tossed with a ladle almost as large as the bowl.
The elastic noodles are then apportioned, with the help of scissors, into awaiting serving vessels.
There are several options here. A request for kolok mee with wide noodles will net you a mound of pasta topped with three-ways pork (plus a pork ball), sliced fish cake, a piece of innnard or two, and chopped scallions (seven photos up, green background). The fettucine-like noodles are beyond reproach - eggy and chewy, cooked al dente - and the array of pork toppings flavorful to a one.
But most of Min Joo's customers order their thin kolok mee kosong (plain), and it must be said that these strands of pasta bare of solid pork serve well to focus attention on their fantastic springiness larded almost, but not quite, to excess.
Kolok mee kosong are best accompanied by Min Joo's 'vegetable soup'. Vegetarians, or anyone looking for a healthy dose of fiber, be forewarned: the only sign of produce in this bowl is a murky green blob of pleasantly briney seaweed and a few slivers of preserved salted vegetable.
In our book pork balls, belly, kidney, liver, stomach and intestine (as well a small prawn or two) don't qualify as produce. Neither is there a trace of veggie flavor in the full-on meat broth.
But Min Joo's noodles are so fine, and their 'vegetable soup' so slurp- (and chew-) worthy, that we're willing to cut the place some slack.
Anyway, haven't you heard? Offal is the new bok choy.
Min Joo, Carpenter Street (look for the packed out corner shop across from Bollywood Cafe), Kuching, Sarawak. 730a-3p. No phone, no fixed off days.
Ok - I need to book the next flight to Kuching now!
Hmmm, the description of Mr X makes him sound like The Noodle Nazi sorta like The Soup Nazi in Seinfeld.
Posted by: Shiewie | 2007.10.18 at 15:59
Shiewie - and I haven't even gotten to laksa yet!
Mr. X is actually OK. He's loud all right, and can be a bit gruff, but he does smile on occasion (seriously though - *do* observe protocol!!) and does take care of his customers ... sort of a grizzly with a heart of gold.
Posted by: Robyn | 2007.10.18 at 18:08
Ahh kolok mee..the love of my life (or stomach actually). Pretty hard to find a decent substitute here in KL/PJ.
You must try the Sarawak Laksa and also the sio bee - thats what the Sarawakians call their siu mai - the meaty things in dimsum.
Hv fun in kuching. I miss home :)
Posted by: IcedNyior | 2007.10.18 at 22:19
Your description of Mr.X is spot on, he terrified my sister and I so much when we visited the little stall!
Posted by: Di | 2007.10.23 at 14:41
*whimper* Pork... Stupid high cholesterol... Wants it we's does, precious.
Posted by: Chubbypanda | 2007.10.25 at 07:08
IcedNyior - there's a decent version in PJ New Town, do you know it? The noodles are excellent but admittedly it does lack this superior versions super lardiness.
Chubby - cholesterol chlomesterol ... a little lard now and then won't hurt.
Di - he's a sheep in wolf's clothing. ;-)
Posted by: Robyn | 2007.10.25 at 11:28
I miss those days when i grew up in KCH. Its a must to go to Min Joo weekly. When i finished my studies in high skool i was a assumed the position of a delivery boy for a local bakery. I swing by there EVERYDAY for lunch for a period of 2 months!
We all in KCH dont really know the name of the shop coz when u arrive, u'll be eyeing for a vacant seat like a hawk. Let alone look around. So we all normally nickname the place 'Tua Pui Soh'(fat aunty).
The soup....Heavenly! Even when my parents come over to KL its compulsory to tapau for me. Mr X knows who i am also coz i really grew up eating his good-stuff. I rarely go back to KCH now....even typing this comment makes me salivate! Damn!
I can only sum up this shop in my way.....
BEST IN THE WORLD!!!!!!
Posted by: Adrian | 2007.10.25 at 13:56
Adrian - EVERYday for 2 months? That is pretty hardcore, I'm not sure even I could handle that much lard and pork parts 60 days in a row!
Did you name the place 'fat aunty' for the, um, fat aunty who looks just like Mr. X, right down to the hair cut? (We wondered if she was his mother).
Great story, thanks for sharing. Sounds like you need a quick trip back to KUC for a bowl of kolok mee...
Posted by: Robyn | 2007.10.25 at 17:39
Robyn
We Kuching people nickname her 'fat aunty'. Everyone knows 'fat aunty'. And yes she is Mr X's mother. She used to run the show like Mr X. Now she's frail so she just basically sits.
Yes....for 2 straight months everyday for lunch. My mom actually banned me from going there when i started to grow sideways. But now i crave for it. Even still drooling writing this reply! >.< :P``````
Posted by: Adrian | 2007.10.25 at 23:34
Drooling ..! big time...!
Mr X sounds like the soup Nazi.. ;)
Posted by: Mama Bok | 2007.10.26 at 02:06
wow nice...heaven..i suggest you should try the laksa in Kingtop just opposite Hilton Hotel(behind Riverside).Available midnight till morning.the best seriously!oh how i miss my hometown now...Food in Switzerland are just plain boring..and i miss the Bishop's Gate kolo mee too.and i found it here!
Posted by: Jinx | 2008.01.23 at 23:15
Makes me miss home. Must be 5 yrs since I last step there. Recommended a few KL friends and they got hooked. btw Kuching nites, there's a great kuching QQ kolo mee store at restoran 2020 pandan indah (opposite hong leong) you must try. QQ Kolo mee is made locally by a serian fellow. His kuching laksa is quite good as well. Opens 8.30am - 10pm sometimes midnite depending on crowd.
Posted by: Kuching boy | 2008.05.02 at 15:50
anti-vegan mean anti vegetarian? all meat?
Posted by: traveling malaysia | 2008.05.07 at 17:15
Jinx - we'll keep your suggestions in mind for next visit to Kuching. Thanks!
Kuching Boy - do you mean Jalan Pandan Indah? We know the area but we'll need a street!
traveling malaysia - yes. The only bit of veg is seaweed and preserved/salted mustard. Which is why it's amusing that the place calls it 'vegetable soup'.
Posted by: Robyn | 2008.05.07 at 18:11
usually people call Mr.x as ah kok..
Posted by: chun | 2008.06.06 at 17:19
One of the best bowls of noodles in Kuching. ^^
Just found out i know who owns the shop as well.xD
Posted by: Dragon_4eva | 2008.06.06 at 22:46
Hi
My name is vanessa chong, I'm the editor of LIghthouse magazine, a magazine published by University of Western Australia, Perth. Do you mind if I use one of your delicious food pics for the publication? I can send you a free copy of the magazine when it comes out. If you want, I can send you a softcopy of the article that this picture will be in too.
Posted by: vanessa chong | 2008.07.12 at 02:03
Greetings from Michigan, U.S.A.! I'm a Kuchingite studying here and missing the great food back home. Ah, reading this post... I can just imagine the days I too used to fight to get a place at Min Joo (somehow tapau is not the same)!
Really enjoying the pictures and detailed commentary. Keep posting!
Posted by: Seraph | 2008.07.15 at 01:53
Seraph - small world! We both grew up in Michigan. Whereabouts are you? Thanks for your comment.
Posted by: Robyn | 2008.07.15 at 11:10
Yummy, I been there before. You should go and try, I believe you like it. Specially, the kolok mee and the soup.....
Posted by: Rachel | 2008.09.08 at 17:52
The best kolok mee in kch right now..... 4 me lah....
Posted by: Min Joo FC | 2008.09.10 at 13:12
To all Min Joo Fans out there - they've moved their stall next door already and it called quite appropriately - "Cafe Next Door"!!! LOL
Posted by: valbe | 2008.10.27 at 21:31
The kolo mee there is very nice
I eat it before......Nyummy......
Posted by: Annie | 2008.11.01 at 22:19
wa... MR X is uncle liew ler.. his aunt how takes orderis even more NAZI than him.. the hour of waiting is really worth it..
a bowl of "cheng" yummo!!!! love it..
ah... makes me wanna eat it now..
Posted by: gwen | 2009.01.28 at 21:11
uncle liew?? fyi, d surname is lau and he is known as ah kok....be nice to him n he'll be nice to you. ahh...he is d clown of d family...i miss kolo mee....so much joy n fun in this lil "sauna"
Posted by: missy | 2009.07.06 at 23:46